Counsellor
Nicola Jeffery
MBACP 422950
She/her
“When your brave face is hiding how much you’re struggling, I help you set it down and find the parts of yourself that feel buried.”
WHO I help
For people who look like they’re coping and feel worn out.
A phone call can undo a carer’s carefully planned day. A care review lands in the same week as a work appraisal, and the council needs an answer by Friday. When someone says, “I don’t know how you do it,” it can feel easier to nod than to tell them how things really are.
Nicola works with family carers, adults living with chronic illness, neurodivergent adults and adults with a learning disability. Some wake up exhausted after a full night’s sleep and spend the day rationing their energy. Others get through work so convincingly that nobody sees them sitting outside their own house, taking ten minutes in the car before they can go in.
People often come to Nicola with stress, low mood or anxiety. As they talk, there’s often grief too. They might miss the life they expected, the body they could once count on, or the person they were before caring took over. After years of pushing through, it can be hard to tell what they need, let alone ask for it.
“When people first come to me, they often talk about stress, tiredness or anxiety. Underneath, what I usually find is grief and a loss of self. What people are really looking for is permission to matter too.”
how i work
Unhurried sessions that make room for the energy you have.
Nicola starts with what she calls a Threshold Session. It’s a calm first meeting to talk about how someone likes to communicate and whether counselling feels right for them. They can bring someone they trust. There’s time to settle in, and room for a little humour when it helps.
She checks in as the work goes along. On a low-energy day, that might mean a shorter session or a break. When words are hard to find, drawing, picture cards or a sandtray can give someone another way to show her what they mean. They decide together what helps.
Early on, it can be a relief just to say how things are and be believed. Over time, Nicola helps people notice where guilt kicks in, what they need and which responsibilities they might be able to share or set down. They review the work every six sessions. Progress might look like holding a boundary or taking a rest without feeling they have to earn it.
“I believe change comes in small, steady shifts. A little more rest, a boundary held, a moment of kindness towards yourself where there used to be criticism.”
It's nice to meet you!
Bought the boat. Still learning to sail.
Years of parent caring and a career in health research both led Nicola to counselling, along with the experience of finding a counsellor of her own. She and her husband keep a small yacht in Torquay, which they bought before she’d really learnt to sail. Give her a race or a new skill to master and she’s in.
Specialisms
Anxiety
Depression
Trauma & PTSD
Grief & loss
Stress & burnout
Low self-worth
Identity
Life transitions
Neurodivergence
Chronic pain
Domestic abuse
Anger
Parenting
Perimenopause
Muscle tension/pain
Session information
£50–£65 per session. Reduced rates are available. Contact Nicola for the exact fee and concession details.
Both in-person and online
discoveringself.co.uk
nicola@discoveringself.co.uk
